driving miss crazy...

Everyone has at least one crazy aunt.  You know, that Aunt who maybe collects silly things and stores them in every room of her house, like pigs perhaps? Or maybe this aunt is a bit loco in the brain-o and she always has crazy rules about germs or feet, and gets grossed out a little bit too easy! Or say, she has weird thumbs and pinkies that only a mad loon would be born with.  They usually always wear weird things too, like colorful socks, because they think plain white is a bit boring.  Everyone has one, and most likely if you have of these aunts, your mom is well aware of her nuttiness and has been thinking to herself for sometime, "why on earth did I have to come in contact with this whacked out lady that is now my sister in law! sheesh!" Knowing this your mom probably had some rules about letting you children in a car driven by your fanatical Aunt, or for that matter be left alone with her for fear that some of her batty ideas might wear off on your gene pool eventually causing all future grandchildren to come out a bit, well...off.

The funny thing about nutty aunts though is their foolishness can't be contained, and they always find you, no matter where you hide, no matter how you try and avoid her, and especially no matter how your mother tries to disguise you.  It's as if their batty ways control some bizarre force in the universe that can trigger some rare debacle to enter your everyday routine and give your hum drum daily life a bit of a bounce.

Well, I was amidst that bounce today and it cause quite the stir.  I might even go as far to say that Mother Nature might have a crazy aunt shaking up her routine as well because the weather only helped shake the upheaval that I took part in.  I was driving to work this morning down ninth east, a fast and easy drive to my office.  As I tootled along I realized I was making good time and would clock in sooner than I thought to start my very pleasant work day (that is added sarcasm) when all of the sudden a big, tall stinken bus decided to leave its bus stop and swoop out right in front of me, cutting off my rhythm, my speed and worst of all, my time frame to make it to work.  No way was I going to continue in slow motion when I was on the final stretch of making it to my cubical to clock in and stare at a wall all day (again sarcasm). No way! I just wouldn't have it, so I decided it was time to switch lanes while my momentum was still hanging on.  I peered through the snow and checked my blind spot, the white van that I thought was there seemed to have vanished and so I made my lane change only to hear HONK!!!!!!!! I looked, I gasped, and steered clear back to my old lane, right back behind that ugly poopy bus!!! The swirling snow must have camouflaged the white van!! That and my Corolla has the worst blind spots known to man .  I felt terrible, and worse, stupid that I hadn't seen the mini van probably carrying such precious cargo.  After coming to my senses and cursing the bus, the van sped up to ride neck and neck with me so we were window to window! I didn't dare look over for fear that some irate mother was going to give me heck, but I decided to anyway, but I put up a little defense of my own and began to wave back and forth giving her the signal to move along ahead of me so such a calamity wouldn't occur again! But my waving turned to horror when I realized the mother of the van wasn't angry she was laughing, head back, mouth open cackling at me!! That's when all shock wore off, all confusion melted and pure and utter bewilderment set in! The precious cargo in that van was my nephew and nieces, Harman, Annabelle, and Sophi and the irate mother was none other than my lovely sister in law Marci and worst of all...

I AM THAT CRAZY AUNT!!!!!!